Tessie May — A Song For Brexit

I can’t write a sensible article on the Brexit shenanigans, like most sane Brits I’m gobsmacked by the ineptitude and cluelessness of our leaders. Here’s a parody of Liverpool folk song Maggie Mae, (do not confuse this with Rod Stewart’s Maggie May,) the story of a sailor tempted by one of the ladies of negotiable affection who plied their trade on Liverpool's Lime Street. I retitled my version Tessie May in recognition of our Prime Minister’s unique talent for screwing up rather than screwing. There’s a note on the origins of the song, along with guitar chords and the usual lyrics and a link to a YouTube video one of the best versions by folk band The Spinners below my words. Search online for a version of Maggie Mae by The Beatles if you are a fan.

 
Liverpool Lime Street, early 20th century, where Maggie Mae and many other ladies of negotiable affection plied their trade over the years (picture source: Liverpool Echo)

Sprachen und sangen (with occasional chords)

Now gather round you voters all and listen to my tale
Of an Old Etonian posh boy name of Dave,
He called a referendum, the arguments to end ‘em
on Europe — should we go or stayyyyy …..

 

Strong beat

The result it was a stunner, the posh boy did a runner
They gave his job up to a girl named Tessie May
She promised to deliver, but tried to keep us in forever
That hopeless woman was quickly led astray

 

Oh Tessie, Tessie May, we are sending her away
And she’ll never walk down Whitehall any more
She sold us down the river, and we never will forgive her,
For messing up that simple Brexit chore

 

We voted for to leave, and few of us would grieve
The quitting of that corrupt old EU,
With Union flags unfurled, we’d be trading with the world
On terms set by the W-T-O.

 

All she had to do was seal our exit with no deal
and pay not a penny piece to set us free,
but she caved in to Brussels and fell for all their hustles,
That piss — poor politician Tessie May

 

Oh Tessie, Tessie May, we are sending her away
And she’ll never walk down Whitegall any more
She sold us down the river, and we never will forgive her,
For messing up that simple Brexit chore

 

She paraded in red shoes, but she soon gave us the blues
When into them she pushed her feet of clay,
She was a bad negotiator, and that’s why we all hate her,
She gave up without a fight did Tessie May.

 

Theresa the appeaser treated Juncker like a Caesar,
And lay down in front of Bar — nee — ay.
All she brought us was a deal that allowed Brussels to steal
Our fishing rights and pissed off the DUP

 

Oh Tessie, Tessie May, we are sending her away
And she’ll never walk down Whitehall any more
She sold us down the river, and we never will forgive her,
For messing up that simple Brexit chore.

 

She came back from Europe’s summit and told us all she’d done it,
secured the very best of Brexit deals,
But Remainers, how they mocked her, and Brexiteers shocked her
when they refused to buy her Irish backstop spiel.

 

At the eleventh hour, Tessie clung on to power
But she made the British look a bunch of fools,
Couldn’t run a piss up in a brewery was the verdict of the jury,
How did such stupid twats rule half the world.

 

Oh Tessie, Tessie May, we are sending her away
And she’ll never walk down Whitehall any more
She sold us down the river, and we never will forgive her,
For messing up that simple Brexit chore.

 

Oh useless Tessie May, you betrayed democracy,
for your own ambitions and your lust for power,
Thought you were Maggie Thatcher but no way could you match her,
It was her brass balls made many brave men cower.

 

Oh Tessie, Tessie May, we are sending her away
And she’ll never walk down Whitehall any more
She sold us down the river, and we never will forgive her,
For messing up that simple Brexit chore.

 

Maggie Mae — Chords, Lyrics and Origins

(link to YouTube video of The Spinners performing Maggie Mae)

https://youtu.be/wc4GITm7PfY

 

Origins

Maggie Mae is a traditional British song from Liverpool. It’s not to be confused with the also excellent, but very different, Rod Stewart hit of similar name, Maggie May. The lyrics tell the familiar tale of a prostitute who steals a gullible sailor’s possessions (see Barrack Street for a similar tale). In Maggie Mae, however, the prostitute gets her come-uppance — she is transported to Australia, which of course, used to be a British penal colony. The earliest references to the song date back to the 1830s. It became popular with skiffle groups in the 1950s, including a then little-known outfit called The Quarrymen. The Quarrymen weren’t to remain obscure for long. They changed their name to The Silver Beatles, and then simply to ‘The Beatles’ and the rest is history. Famously, you can hear a short burst of them performing ‘Maggie May’ on the last album they released, ‘Let it Be’. The song reputedly remained a favourite of John Lennon’s until his death in 1980.

Chords

1st Verse

C G7 C

Now gather round you sailor boys, and listen to my plea

G7

And when you’ve heard my tale you’ll pity me

C C7 F D7

For I was a real damned fool in the port of Liverpool

G7 C

The first time that I came home from the sea

 

All Other Verses

F C

I was paid off at the Home, from a voyage to Sierra Leone

G7

Two pounds ten and sixpence was my pay

C C7 F D7

When I drew the tin I grinned, but I very soon got skinned

C G7 C

By a girl by the name of Maggie May.

 

Chorus

F C

Oh, Maggie, Maggie May, they have taken her away;

G7

And she’ll never walk down Lime Street any more;

C C7 F D7

For she robbed so many a sailor, and skinned so many a whaler -

C G7 C

That dirty, no-good, robbing Maggie May.

 

Lyrics

Now gather round you sailor boys, and listen to my plea
And when you’ve heard my tale you’ll pity me -
For I was a real damned fool in the port of Liverpool
The first time that I came home from the sea.

I was paid off at the Home, from a voyage to Sierra Leone:
Two pounds ten and sixpence was my pay.
When I drew the tin I grinned, but I very soon got skinned
By a girl by the name of Maggie May.

Oh dirty Maggie May, they’ve taken her away;
And she’ll never walk down Lime Street any more.
For she robbed so many a sailor, and skinned so many a whaler -
That dirty, no-good, robbing Maggie May.

I shan’t forget the day when I first met Maggie May:
She was cruising up and down on Canning Place,
With a figure so divine, like a frigate of the line,
So, being a sailor, I gave chase.

Oh dirty Maggie May, they’ve taken her away;
And she’ll never walk down Lime Street any more.
For she robbed so many a sailor, and skinned so many a whaler -
That dirty, no-good, robbing Maggie May.

Next day I woke in bed, with a sore and aching head,
No shoes, or shirt, or trousers could I find.
I asked her where they were, and she answered, “My dear sir,
They’re down in Kelly’s knock-shop, number nine.”

Oh dirty Maggie May, they’ve taken her away;
And she’ll never walk down Lime Street any more.
For she robbed so many a sailor, and skinned so many a whaler -
That dirty, no-good, robbing Maggie May.

Oh, you thieving Maggie May, you robbed me of my pay
When I slept with you last night ashore;
And the judge he guilty found her of robbing a homeward-bounder,
And she’ll never roam down Lime Street any more.

Oh dirty Maggie May, they’ve taken her away;
And she’ll never walk down Lime Street any more.
For she robbed so many a sailor, and skinned so many a whaler -
And now she's heading for the Queensland shore.


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