DRAFT: Response to Jeff Jackson's article "Considering Careless Connubiality".

Recently, and online report by Quoctrung Bui and Claire Cain Miller on a website called “The Upshot” revealed something that some of us might have already known from personal experience.  From my experience, educated women tend to have babies later in life, while the less-educated tend to have children earlier.


What is your definition of 'educated'?  Earl Nightingale had an idea about education and success, and it had nothing to do with formal education. 


Being the analytical type that I am, I started to look at research to see if my personal experience was an anomaly or a fact.

There would be no Democrats in America if they all did this, which is a commendable practice.


I will try to keep the references limited to those from females as to assuage any of you who suspect I might be indulging in misogyny.

Kind of sad we have to consider what the morally bankrupt Marxists on the left think of us.  To them, we are all Deplorable sexists, misogynists, homophobes, xenophobes, and Islamophobes, no matter what we do or say.  I  used to try to contort myself into moral pretzels to show an appreciation for their Marxist nonsense and found it to be a pointless exercise. 


It has come to my attention that women who don’t have a lot of money or education tend to have children earlier in life than women who are educated and have a few pennies stashed away.


It's a very good investment.  The women of the Baby Boom generation had the children who went on to do great things for America. What do these children turn around and do?  They scorn having children, and insist on turning America into a death culture, though they were produced by a culture of life. 


Economic Differences and Life Choices


From the Upshot article: “The difference in when women start families cuts along many of the same lines that divide the country in other ways, and the biggest one is education.

Student debt is the biggest business in America, at $1.4 trillion.  'Education' isn't really much to be proud of these days, because if you can explain what one learns about life, morals, and history, that one can't learn in the 50 volume Harvard Classics, which one can obtain for $1,000 bucks, I'd like to hear what it is?  8th graders in 1912 were better educated, before we had an income tax and one dime spent on education, than today's college graduates.  And anyone can accomplish the magnificent education of Abraham Lincoln, who had 1 year of formal education to his credit.  All we have to do is imitate his  habits.  Avoid drugs, avoid porn, avoid television, and read prodigiously.  Yet, less than 5% of America does this today, and so we have a nation of stubborn and proud citizens, who demand the government and schools do for them what they ought to be doing for themselves. 


Women with college degrees have children an average of seven years later than those without — and often use the years in between to finish school and build their careers and incomes.”  

I just read an article on this today, with a woman who is a feminist uttering the usual diatribes that her kind have for women who are 'uneducated' and stayed at home and had children, while taking care of a home and a husband.


Which means your college girlfriend is less likely to accidentally get pregnant than your girlfriend from the other side of the tracks who doesn’t have very high career expectations; she’s probably looking for a different kind of expectation.

That's called fornication.  No one should be having sex until they are married.  You know, if your parents and their generation had your attitude, you probably wouldn't be here right  now.  They would have probably been too busy making money and enjoying life to be bothered with a bothersome nuisance a child like you presents to a selfish person.  Something is seriously wrong if you think having sex is quite alright and avoiding marriage and childbirth is as well.  No nation in world history ever successfully did that, and if you think our nation will be the first, you'd better get a Quran and start learning it,  because Islam will take over with attitudes like yours.  Unlike you, they listen to their mad prophet, and they have lots of babies, and when it comes time to vote, those babies outnumber the nonexistent children of you and other selfish types and we get the Michigan and Minnesota Muslims in the House of Representatives, who are  both radically out to change America. 


Unless, of course, your college girlfriend is flunking out, at which time all bets are off, and quitting college because of pregnancy is a really great excuse, and sounds much better than flunking out.


Again, having sex while not married is a very bad idea for everyone involved.  It has destroyed every last society who tried it. Men far wiser than anyone alive today have repeatedly said that.


To continue the Upshot article: “People with a higher socioeconomic status ‘just have more potential things they could do instead of being a parent, like going to college or grad school and having a fulfilling career,’

Reminds me of the story of the Mexican Fisherman.   Last I checked being a husband, wife, father and mother, are among the greatest duties and joys a human can have.  The authors priorities, and yours for accepting them unquestioningly, are severely distorted.  Placing money above life is what dying societies do, placing life above money is what thriving societies do.   


said Heather Rackin, a sociologist at Louisiana State University who studies fertility. ‘Lower socioeconomic-status people might not have as many opportunity costs — and motherhood has these benefits of emotional fulfillment, status in their community and a path to becoming an adult.’”

Again, no one should be having sex outside of marriage, and since the male sex drive doesn't vanish, where is the safe outlet for it outside of marriage and having children? 


So having children makes you an adult, whether you want to be or not, and if you’re a young woman of limited finances and want to be an adult, you have a child.

100 years ago, women and men of all ages waited for marriage to have sex and did not try to avoid children.  They generally married young. They were happier, and many of us would not be here if they had not done this.  If the Founders of America had your attitude or the authors, America would have perished in just 40 years.  Selfish societies always collapse.  Your attitudes were common in the communities that Islam dominated in it's first few centuries of Jihad after that bloody pedophile Muhammad began it in the 600's. 


So, apparently, if you don’t see any education or any kind of a career in your future, you have a baby.


Thanks to selfish men like you, women who reject marriage and having children for an 'education' and a job, where they are often molested, is becoming quite common. 


When last I heard, having a baby creates expenses all on its own.

To people like you, they are an inconvenience. 


Apparently, low-income women can afford to have babies but cannot afford an education or apprenticeship to a higher-paying trade. Happiness is subjective and personal. Many rich people are unhappy, but they can pay their therapists hundreds of dollars an hour to tell them that, whereas, poor people, not so much. Personally, I try not to base my happiness on other people, as I have found, it’s not a good strategy.  


Last I checked, you can't buy happiness, though your last sentence is quite right. 


Defining Accomplishments


I become confused when I see people having children and consider it an accomplishment.

What is so confusing about obeying the laws of nature and nature's God that are written into the Declaration of Independence?  Getting married and having children is the natural outcome of the sex drive, without which, the human race would have died out long ago. 


This confusion is especially acute when the pregnancy was more of an accident, and then the accident turns into an accomplishment.


So you think humans are now 'accidents'?  Margaret Sanger was a killer angel, and she would agree with your sentiments entirely. 

Not many people accidentally finish college, or finish training for a career, or accidentally are promoted to higher positions because of dedication and hard work.

Yet, having a child advances the human race in a way that no college, training, or promotion ever can. 


Further confusion arises when people get married and consider marriage an accomplishment.

It is an accomplishment.  Keeping it together is an accomplishment as well.  Are you married?  You write as if you are a bachelor.  It's fairly evident you don't believe in having children.  So, Jeff, let us know what you did with your sex drive, if I may be so bold as to inquire into the details, where the devil resides, of your ideas?  I've admittedly made wrong choices, but I don't advertise my vices as virtues. 


Marriage is, for the most part, just moving from one socioeconomic condition to another.

In reality, marriage is a harmonizing influence that makes both sexes and their children better off for the relationship, generally, when we are dealing with people who love God. 


Before I am buried by responses detailing the sanctity of marriage and the importance of its commitment, understand that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, and the younger you make the lifelong commitment the higher the probability of its failure.

That is because people are too selfish. The problem is not with marriage, but in a society that believes it is others job to take care of them and amuse that.  You constantly hear women and men say their spouse stopped satisfying them.  Well, love is not about being satisfied or feelings.  It is about duty and commitment.  Often, we find the people we do the most for, we care the most for. 


All I am stating (which should be obvious) is that walking down the aisle or signing a marriage license implies a lot of commitment, but the act in and of itself is not an accomplishment; if it were legal, you could do it several times a month, which cannot be said about the accomplishments to which it was compared.

However, having sex outside of marriage is a crime worse than anything marriage entails, and it will dog the conscience which has not been seared, quite torturously.  It is better to marry than to burn, said the Apostle Paul.  While marriage and having children are given short shrift by you, the alternatives to this in the way of alleviating the relentless sex drive, are not addressed.  All of them are far worse than marriage and children, if examined rationally and dispassionately, WITH NO EXCEPTIONS.  So, your evaluation lacks a comprehensive overview, and is skewed in favor of libertines.  Since you earlier indicated you did not see anything wrong with porn, this article is a delight to porn lovers all over America, and there are plenty of them, as we can judge by 30% of the top 10 websites in the world being porn websites.


To celebrate the love of two young people, yes, and to help each other through life, again, yes. But marriage as an accomplishment in and of itself, no.


You cannot have the former, the love of 2 people, without the latter, to view marriage as a sacred commitment and accomplishment.  It is attitude, not aptitude that determines our altitude.  Zig Ziglar.


Staying married for several decades or even to the end of your life is an accomplishment, as is having children who grow up to be productive members of society, and I am offering full recognition of that fact.



But, to proceed with my point, research tells us that the biggest thing most married couples fight about is money, so having little or no money and then getting married is like stepping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

That is true, and women initiate divorce 80% of the time, showing their interest in security is a key factor in their love.  However, porn is a reason for 56% of divorces, and it affects a man's ability to provide both love and material support for his wife. 


Certainly, some couples make a marriage work and their combined efforts yield a comfortable life, but there are just as many examples of failed marriages, especially in the present day where half of the marriages end in divorce.


When two people marry and they acknowledge God as their mediator, their marriages rarely fail.  It is impossible for a husband and a wife to sincerely strive to please God and fail to please each other.  If the marriage fails, one or both are  headed for hell. 


Here are the facts that I have gleaned. You are more likely to stay married if you get married when you are older, and you are more likely to stay married if you are wealthy.

In a materialistic world, that is true.  But, many couples married poor, and became rich.  And there are many marriages that remained happy entire lifetimes though they were never rich.  You often equate money with happiness and success, a common problem with today's carnal and non-spiritual society.  Yet, that was not true of the Solitary Life that influenced humanity more than any other life ever.


Therefore, getting married at a young age, such as late teens or very early twenties, and if you are poor as well, you are entering the institution of marriage with two strikes against you.

It's shameful to be in such a selfish society where people are busy going to Vegas, watching television, using porn and drugs, and can't be bothered to help those in their community who are poor and raising children. 


Put a baby into that mix and you generally get even more poverty, because babies are expensive and require a great deal of attention, making it hard for both marriage partners to work.

The only reward for doing what is easy, is it's easy.

'Rivers and men both run crooked when they follow the path of least resistance'. Thoreau


Daycare is so expensive that unless one of the marriage partners has a fairly high-paying job, they are better off economically for one partner to just stay home and care for their offspring.

Daycare should never be a consideration.  Your last sentence is quite true. 


In spite of all of the aforementioned facts, people still see marriage and children as an accomplishment, even if they are poor, and especially if they are poor.

The sacraments of marriage and the church were the backbones that America was built upon, and were the two sacraments given man by God, yet you fail to see the value in marriage, and the church too, judging on your views.  So, you scorn the foundations the nation that gave you your prosperity and freedom are founded upon, and you feel you know better than those who came before you and fought and suffered for you.  So ungrateful it is despicable! 


A marriage can certainly help you escape from poverty, but a baby, not so much. All I am saying is that when you are young and poor, there are better choices.


If you think you can't afford children, try affording not having them.  Low birth rates are the grave yard of great societies.  There are no better choices when you are young and poor, you are gravely mistaken. 


Low-Effort Accomplishments


Is it possible that to some people marriage is an accomplishment because it is easy?


Possibly, however, if you know of a better way to sate a man's sex drive, and a woman's desire for affection, communication, security, and a relationship, I'd like to hear it. 

A marriage license is cheap, usually less than your auto insurance for a month. While you can certainly throw thousands for a wedding, you can also get a justice of the peace for less than one-hundred dollars.


Extravagant and ostentatious weddings are a big damper on the future of that marriage. 


Is getting married an accomplishment to people who don’t see hard work and sacrifice as rewarding?

Many don't learn about hard work and sacrifice until after marriage.    Your arguments negate faith, and the fact that we grow.  Not all learn, but hundreds of millions have in world history. 

While having is baby isn’t an easy experience, getting pregnant is not usually an unpleasant experience, and again, something that really didn’t take much effort is considered an accomplishment. If these things are true, do they imply that certain people consider accomplishments things that don’t require much effort?

100 years ago, marriage involved commitment, and that was effort.  This has fallen away in the faithless society of today. 


Who among us would argue that getting through high school and college are simple things that you can do in just a few months? College, for most people, requires some effort and usually takes some time, where getting married and having a baby can both be accomplished in nine months or less, the latter of which only makes obtaining wealth even harder.




When people tell me they got married, while there is the perfunctory congrats (never the bride, by the way) and I see them as moving from one socioeconomic condition to another. Hopefully they are in love and they will have a partner for life, the odds of that at present time being only fifty-fifty on that notion. Please don’t get me wrong. When people tell me they are getting married and having a baby because they love each other and want to share that love, I think that is a great thing, maybe the best of things. When people tell me they are getting married and I suspect it is because they want an easy, simple accomplishment, I am not terribly impressed.

People do get married for the wrong reasons, but you fail to give them the benefit of the doubt, and you attribute most young marriages to negative motivations. 


If simply getting married was an accomplishment, then people who have been involved in three or more marriages would be considered accomplished indeed.

It is not entering marriage that is an accomplishment, but rather in maintaining it.  However, becoming a skeptic of marriage is the mark of a cynic, and is unhealthy. 


I see very few people celebrating divorce. By the way, the more marriages you are in, the probability of divorce goes up, as in fifty percent for the first, sixty percent for the second, seventy-five percent on the third, and on, as the probability of divorce goes up with each marriage.

Very true, the moral is to stay married. 



If you are single and you meet someone who is single but divorced and they have been married three times or more, your prospects of staying married to them is less than twenty-five percent.

Yes, avoiding those who are divorced is wise.  The Bible has a failsafe safeguard.  If a person has divorced another for any reason other than adultery, and they are not the innocent party, they ARE NOT FREE TO REMARRY.    Widows are free to marry.  100 years ago, we took this seriously.  Today, marriage is considered a joke by too many. 


An often-heard reason to end a marriage is that they were too young. Sometimes you must learn through experience.


I’m not against marriage, I am not against babies. But as accomplishments go, they are pretty hollow, at least in the beginning; making them successful in the long-term is definitely an accomplishment, and one that should be recognized and praised. One thing remains true: We make our decisions, and then our decisions turn around and make us.



By the way, in the research for this essay, I discovered that you can purchase pregnancy urine online ($10.00 an ounce) as well as positive pregnancy tests from $10.00 to $25.00 per test. I will leave it to your imagination as to why some woman would want positive pregnancy tests; possibly to encourage something to happen?  


Ann Silvers, MA, has a book “A Quick Look at Abuse OF Men BY Women” and yes, the capitalization is correct. Ms. Silvers has an interesting take on women abusing men, a rather interesting, and I am sure, unpopular viewpoint.



Sources and interesting websites:

TheUpshot August 4, 2018, by Quoctrung Bui and Claire Cain Miller