The happy single woman myth

I've spent a lot of time around very affluent women in the late 40's and more recently around retirement homes.  The happy single woman's best years are generally over by 40, by then most start to crave what they previously never valued, a family.

 

Most I've spent time around are wildly successful business women whose career success dwarfs the business achievements of their married counterparts.  All the time and efforts other women devoted to their families these women devoted to their companies, and it paid off, they are very well off financially, but all that I know are sad because they are alone.

 

On the surface and at work they are all highly respected hard working women who have the world by the balls, but when I talk to them at lunch and dinner, almost to a person, they think they would be happier if they had worked less and had a family.  Many have told me just that.

 

Many have tried to get involved with other families children, but no family wants the third wheel around all the time.  Many have tried without out success to hook up with someone but the type of single men they respect and want aren't interested in a late 40's executive type woman who works a lot and can't compete physically with the younger women they do want.  Older and affluent men regularly do attract younger women, but it rarely works in reverse.  By then it's really too late to have kids anyway.

 

Most have tried dating, and many have had lots of flings with younger men that more closely resemble kept pets than real partners.  Oh they were good looking, and good in bed but all lacked the ambition and the brains to be real partners.  The women often settle for short term relationships paid for by them, that usually end when the men get bored with them and cheat.  Most of the men they can attract are good looking losers, little more than arm candy and never capable of treating them the way they want to be treated. 

 

They have spent their entire lives being strong, independent, self sufficient and tough, but what they crave later in life is a partner that can take care of them for a change, but by the time they realize it it's too late to change. 

Comments

Dave Volek Added May 15, 2018 - 11:38am
Many of us are having unproductive pursuits of happiness. Successful careers, materialistic consumption, fame, power, conquest over others, etc. have proven not to bring true happiness--even though the players of these games believe in these games.
 
It seems the magic formula is having an income that keeps one comfortable and a herd of good friends and social contacts. Families are a good way to get one's social fix.
 
 
Dino Manalis Added May 15, 2018 - 12:18pm
Some of them might be happy, some are already divorced, while others dream of getting married and having loving families with lots of children.  Things take time and planning!
Jeff Jackson Added May 15, 2018 - 12:40pm
Interesting article Riley. Taking your conclusion, does this mean that when denied hard-working long-hours executive positions to women, they are actually not being discriminated against, but being helped to realize their true life potential, that motherhood is terribly important for the vast majority of women and by majority, most would prefer to have children and families? 
Anecdotal evidence is always hard to support conclusions. We all have regrets about things we would have rather done, but these seem to be consistent, as far as your evidence shows.
William Stockton Added May 15, 2018 - 12:46pm
Good article Riley.  Might be pertinent to note that everyone can play the "what-if" game in life.  What if I had done this?  What if I had done that?
 
Oh gawd, those poor "successful" women now playing the "what-if" game and driving themselves mad.  What they need is a wise person in the life telling them to stop playing the madness game and be happy with who they are and what the future might bring.
Leroy Added May 15, 2018 - 1:46pm
My best friend married a very aggressive businesswoman.  She had been married before, but, being a devout Catholic, didn't divorce him after he started cheating.  They went their separate ways and she focused on her career.  She met my friend.  They decided to marry.  She had her marriage annulled.  Money talks even with religion.  She was thirty-eight when they married.  They planned to wait a couple of years and then have children.  I suggested that they act sooner than later because his wife was no longer a spring chicken.  They were both insulted by my remark.  Nevertheless, I proved correct.  She waited too late for that family.
 
Even nature discriminates against women.  We decided to start our family with me in my mid-50s.  I used the half my age plus nine rule but ended up with a younger woman.  A man has the luxury of time; a woman doesn't if she wants a family.
 
A career woman who decides to start a family may be too late by the time she starts looking.  In China, these women are referred to the "leftover women."  It's any unmarried woman over thirty.  Although not necessarily too old to have children, they are too high of risk to have the perfect child.  If she does decide to marry, she is likely to marry a much older man.
Stone-Eater Added May 15, 2018 - 3:00pm
Riley
 
Women need men to produce children. Once they're there, the man is second choice. I know. It's nature. 
Thomas Sutrina Added May 15, 2018 - 6:04pm
Riley there is some hope.  My bother's first wife died and he married a women that may have been married young and devoured after a short marriage with no children.  And that I took from a few words said, but I  could be totally off base.  So she fits your older women.  They are very happy.  PS she was a friend for years.  
Cliff M. Added May 15, 2018 - 6:32pm
Riley, The key for these women to find partners is actually lowered expectations. The ability to accept people for who they are. Rebuilding projects on mates rarely accomplish anything and are a fruitless pursuit.Many older successful women have managed to avoid the majority of deadbeats readily available.The grass is not always greener on the other side.
Riley Brown Added May 15, 2018 - 7:50pm
Dave, I always urge young people to "go for the money" because everything including Love seem to work out better if you're affluent than if you're poor but that being said I think like most other things, even pursuing money needs to be done in moderation.
 
Today I see more young girls and women being encouraged to be all they can in the corporate world and prove their just as good as the men by competing for the top jobs.  Unfortunately when they do they usually simultaneously sacrifice their chances of also having a good marriage and family life.
 
It's never been easy to manage both even for men, but men who do tend to be able to both easier than women.    Most are workaholics, practically never home, and they can if their wife is a good mom and housekeeper.  Women who want nothing more abound and no one criticizes men who marry bimbos who can do little else.  No one criticizes the women either, housewives are respected and cherished in our society.
 
Women have it harder, if they want to be a decent mom they need a much more forgiving schedule than most men would to do the same job.  Few career women have the luxury of a guy who is willing to be a house husband, and even fewer would tolerate a man with so little ambition, that would be accumulating and hardly what most women want in a man to begin with.  House husbands are joke and get no respect in our society.  No respectable woman would want one, much less tolerate a bum who can't even carry his own end of the log.
 
I'm not commenting on the right or wrong of it, just pointing out the facts and cultural reasons why women with children rise to high positions in companies so much less often than men.  It's not discrimination as much as it's a corporate culture that usually promotes the workaholics not the women who take time off so they can have babies and take care of them.
Riley Brown Added May 15, 2018 - 7:52pm
Jeff, yes, if women want to rise to the top they need to be just as much workaholics as the men who tend to rise to the top if they want to be competitive.  Any man that wants to take a lot of personal time off would have the same problem.  It's just easier for men to be married and workaholics than women if they are also the primary care giver at home at the same time.
Riley Brown Added May 15, 2018 - 7:56pm
William, I feel sorry for today's young girls.  They are being urged to show up the men and many will outperform them by sheer effort and personal sacrifices that they will only later in life come to regret.
 
Women much more than men have a clock if the ever want to have a family and if they wait until they are 50 it's just too late.  A 50 year old man with lots of money can still be in the game but not a 50 year old woman; she can't just marry a much younger man and charge right ahead.  Her money can't buy her the same happiness.
Riley Brown Added May 15, 2018 - 8:02pm
Leroy, I admit life and physiology aren't fair to women, they are at a distinct disadvantage because their the ones that get pregnant.  Our society respects traditional families and is even very tolerant of older men who marry younger women so they can have kids.  Society is not tolerant of men who latch on to wealthy women and leach off them, they are generally considered worthless bums. 
 
Even an affluent man in his late 60's can attract lots of younger women, but few 60 year old women, even those with lots of money can attract men they would like to be married to.  Instead many SETTLE for what they can get and it's often not pretty.
Riley Brown Added May 15, 2018 - 8:09pm
Cliff, I know many of them, female execs who are always complaining because all the "decent" guys are already taken. We go to high end bars, and social events where they hope to meet Mr. Right but never do.  They all have a list of all the losers they have dated, most were younger and often great in bed but no brains or ambition.  I've heard many of them say they would gladly have given up their career if they could have found Mr. Right and had a family like other women they currently envy.  They are all strong women but all wish a man with the ability to take care of them for a change, with brains and a decent job, would come save them from their pitiful future.
 
They all know what its like to have the guy move in with them, they all know what it's like to take their car because it's so much better than the guy's, and they all know how it feels to have others realize they pay for everything including their dates. 
 
On one hand they know they are Super Woman and at the same time when it comes to the men in their lives and family, they feel like life left them behind.
Stephen Hunter Added May 15, 2018 - 10:19pm
Riley your article just shows that money and power do not lead to happiness and fulfillment.
Having a soul mate for life is one of the things that can contribute to this. 
I think we need to look inside ourselves for what fulfills us, and not to the outside world and chasing the American Dream. 
Jeffry Gilbert Added May 15, 2018 - 11:56pm
Good Article Riley.
 
I have met very few happy women on four continents. Interestingly those that I have met have a couple of kids and live in a tin shack above the rice paddy they work. Huge shy smiles reflect their peace and contentment. 
Doug Plumb Added May 16, 2018 - 3:49am
Good article. It sounds like something you heard from JP because he has been saying the same thing. Aristotle basically says the family and a bit of wealth will bring you peace and contentment but if you want true happiness, that only comes for those who persue wisdom.
Its logical of course that a woman would feel alone and dissatisfied with children, but no feminist corporate press is going to tell anyone that and no one reads.
Flying Junior Added May 16, 2018 - 3:59am
I'm just going to point out the obvious.
 
And don't get me wrong, the silence of the WB woman-haters club lately has given me hope.
 
None of you guys.  You guys are alright.  Your comments are very sensitive and without blame.  It's just that some of the men on the WB that used to comment on issues that had to do with females...
 
Does anyone remember the short-lived serial sketch on SNL, Women's Problems, starring Dan Akroyd and Garret Morris?
 
"Damn straight!"
 
Some comedy is decades ahead of its time.  Social mores are slow on the uptake.
 
You guys are fine.  But I do take the author to task.  And this is not the first time you have been just a wee bit to the right-leaning thing on women's issues, Riley.
 
It's chauvinist.  It's anecdotal.  It presupposes that you have a sufficient body of personal experience on women's issues and problems that you are somehow qualified to pontificate on unmarried women above a certain age.  Not buying it.  Some topics are sensitive enough that they require legitimate expertise.
 
Three hundred years ago that age was twenty-five in western society.  You are simply prolonging chauvinist thinking into the twenty-first century.
 
But, if you get one female to comment, I will eat my words.
Doug Plumb Added May 16, 2018 - 4:11am
re "Some topics are sensitive enough that they require legitimate expertise."
 
Commentary from a mainstream commie before you can see eh FJ? Some things are just obvious and do not require a well spoken communist to enlighten us. Riley is right, you can sit around and wait for some expert to tell you so.
 
Stone-Eater Added May 16, 2018 - 4:12am
Jeffry
 
The whole feminist stuff is purely Western propaganda bullshit on one side and our own fault on the other side because we FORCE women to work, otherwise the family hasn't enough to live on (at least in Germany or Switzerland), GIVEN that they do follow consumer trends ;-)
 
In most of Africa, feminism is unknown because of the dominant role a woman has in the family (she manages the kids as well as in very many cases I know) and also the salary of her husband - if he has work.
 
Therefore women don't need to ask for more "rights" or "equality" - because the roles are well-defined and people arrange themselves neatly in them without suppressing either side. Each has his responsability.
 
Single women with kids are not unknown in Africa of course - but the big family softens the situation for them.
Flying Junior Added May 16, 2018 - 4:35am
I call for one woman to comment.  Well, there is always Autumn.  You guys did a good job of scaring away Cynthia Rouse. 
 
What happenned to Houdentenor who first brought up the idea of happy single women?  That was like a week ago.
 
I can only think of five women on the WB right now.  Christina ONeill didn't have much to say beyond her first post.  We did try to encourage her.
 
With Autumn that makes six.  May the Goddess bless each one of you.
Flying Junior Added May 16, 2018 - 4:45am
Douggie,
 
I only meant that Riley does not have relevant experience or expertise to comment on women's issues.  I'm not waiting for the NYT, the LAT or CBS to comment on whether or not single women can be happy.
 
The logical rebuttal to this sexist screed might be to point out that footloose and fancy-free men who consider themselves to be God's gift to womankind all eventually get older and less attractive.  I'm not convinced that bachelors in their fifties, sixties and seventies are any more happy than their female counterparts.
 
Doug, you crazy diamond.
 
More to the point, if you associate this latest screed with Riley's ridiculous sexist rants of the last two years, you start to see a pattern.
 
You want to talk to someone who understands women's issues in the U.S.A. , I'm here for you anytime.  Ask me anything you need to know.
Jeffry Gilbert Added May 16, 2018 - 7:48am
Lot's of virtue signaling going on late in this thread.
Stone-Eater Added May 16, 2018 - 8:15am
Jeffry
 
Western "virtues". They have to be exported around the world because WE ARE RIGHT and the rest are idiots LOL
Leroy Added May 16, 2018 - 8:29am
Certainly, Riley's experience is as relevant--and perhaps more s--as anyone's else's.  I grew up around six women, so I think I have some relevant experience.  I've also lived in a culture where PC is non-existent and people speak their mind on the issue.
 
The only items I might add is that it is possible for women to have a successful career and have a family.  None of my sisters was stay-at home-mother.  The baby was born and two weeks later they were back at work.  Most earned more than their husbands.  All but one earned less.
Michael B. Added May 16, 2018 - 9:04am
A couple of years ago I had a fling with a 20-something chick who wound up going to Austin, Texas to be a kept woman for a 40-something Sugar Mama...yes, a Sugar Mama. They're out there, too, lol. I guess some realize that no matter how many cats one has, they still make poor sex partners.
Riley Brown Added May 16, 2018 - 10:04am
Flying Jr, may I remind you that it's dangerous to presume you know anything about forum authors or participants based on their avatars.  I suggest you not read too much into mine.
 
There are physical and cultural differences between men and women, both should not be ignored.
 
Bachelors in the 50's and 60's with money are far more attractive to younger women than younger men are to older women in the same position. 
 
Older women don't want to be seen in public with a pet man that all their friends and the public knows is in all other ways the equivalent of an attractive bimbo many older men gladly accept.
 
Even today few men are attracted to older women who want to wear the pants.  Some do it for a while but most eventually can't keep their hands off younger women and most want to "be a man", and wear the pants and not be called a "house husband".  Perhaps one day that will change, but today most men want the respect that comes from being the breadwinner, and at least an equal to the women in their lives.
 
I don't think anyone needs an in depth study to acknowledge those facts, just look around and listen to what most people say.  I admit there are exceptions, and all the executive women I know look like an exception when they are in relationships, but most end for the reasons I've mentioned.
 
Usually tough female CEO's end up bitter old maids without companionship, children or even the memories their less ambitions friends have when they get older.
 
It's a lot easier for a male CEO who never spent time with his family because he was such a workaholic to integrate with them once he retires, than it is for a female CEO who put off having a family so she could be a committed career woman to create one after she finally stops working killer hours and retires.
Riley Brown Added May 16, 2018 - 10:16am
Michael, I've known lots of the male equivalents of the blond bimbo's that my female exec's have dated and almost all the time the execs are attracted to good looking men that make sure they please their partner in bed.  Men who always do whatever it takes to satisfy their partners are not all that common and much more desirable than men who assume their partner's get satisfied by simply having sex with stud.  Strangely good sex is often what hooks them for a while.
 
I'm talking about women who have the money to keep a man.  They don't need one for fiscal reasons and many of the younger ones actually do want a "house husband" who will be satisfied to stay home and take care of their kids while they work.  Younger female execs frequently do want kids and many think a house husband would make that possible, but the men they try to make into one rarely work out.  Good looking kept men with nothing to do all day tend to cheat, and that almost always is what ends the relationships. 
Riley Brown Added May 16, 2018 - 10:22am
Leroy, earning more then their husbands isn't unusual these days and is getting more common as more women realize they are just as capable in most business situations as men. 
 
I'm not talking about those women, I'm talking about the ones that become the CFO, CEO and other top positions where it's almost impossible to do and have any family life.  They don't take time off for ANYTHING because if they do someone else will pass them by.  That's true for the men too, but men who have a wife at home and really only contribute sperm, don't need to take any time off work to do that, ever.  No pregnancy leave, no leave early because kids are sick, no leave early to pick them up from child care, NOTHING.
Dave Volek Added May 16, 2018 - 11:19am
Riley
I think you are touching on another subject. A professional life often means at true 60-hour work week---for both men and women. It's harder to be a true family person with this life situation.
 
In the long term of my ideal world, we would have a better educated work force, but the professionals would be working fewer hours.
Riley Brown Added May 16, 2018 - 11:44am
Dave, I'm afraid the 60+ hour work week for supper spectacular success will never change because that's how much effort it takes to do the job well and someone will always be willing to put out that much effort in order to beat out their competition.
 
I've worked those types of jobs and the second I wasn't willing to put in the hours, knew that their were others right behind me ready to take my job.
 
No company tells their hardest workers to put in killer hours but all know that's the only way to keep those jobs.  My last boss claimed he put in 5 successive 90 hour weeks and I think he came close because I watched the insanity.
Flying Junior Added May 16, 2018 - 3:15pm
I shouldn't give you guys a hard time.
Dave Volek Added May 16, 2018 - 3:42pm
Riley
. . . someone will always be willing to put out that much effort in order to beat out their competition.
 
This axiom of being replaceable goes through many occupations, not just the professionals.
 
But when someone is putting in a 60+ hour work week, and their kids are not getting the nurturing they need from their parents, something is wrong.
 
Do we then leave all these high-powered positions for the truly single people?
 
I think the workload needs to spread out some more. Not sure how this will be accomplished, though.
 
 
 
Leroy Added May 16, 2018 - 5:50pm
One thing that I have learned over the years is that the number of hours a guy is willing to put in is directly proportional to the number of kids he has.  I imagine that it is inversely proportional for women.  The second thing is that most people lie about the number of hours they work.  Some do work long hours, but not all.  There was a time I was working from 07:30 to 22:30 six days a week.  I listened to this blowhard telling people how long he worked.  Quite often, we were the only two people in the office.  He spent the entire time hitting on the cleaning women.  Others came in late and work later than most giving the impression that they worked long hours.  Some take a two-hour lunch break instead of the standard half-hour and count the hour and a half as time worked.  Some turn on the lights and leave the door open and go out to play golf.
Riley Brown Added May 16, 2018 - 6:13pm
Dave, you're right workaholics make lousy parents because they can't be around for their partner and children if they are always at work. 
 
Fortunately for very successful men, many stay at home moms successfully do everything but be a dad very well without them, and since they are usually the mother of his children, tend to stick it out for the long haul.  Those moms enjoy living comfortably without having to work at a regular job to support themselves and their children are relatively well taken care of by a loving mom, not some stranger.
 
Now lets look at comparable women.
 
First, if they want to have have their own kids, it means taking time off work, something that's real tough if they want to stay on top at work.
 
Second they either need to find a "Mr. Mom" to take care of their kids or hand them off to caregivers.  Mr. Mom's that are willing to stay at home and play house are rare so most career women have live in help at home and their kids grow up more in love with the Nanny than the Mom.  Most career women, even those who want kids don't want that option, they would much rather find a "good man", get married and have a conventional family life, but by the time they are ready it's too late.
 
The end result is that lots of top male execs retire into a nice family life, and most female equivalents retire single without kids and live alone.
Flying Junior Added May 16, 2018 - 7:49pm
Good call, Captain Gilbert.
Michael B. Added May 16, 2018 - 9:08pm
Riley, I disagree with certain parts of your reply, but whole-heartedly agree with the others. I cracked up at the last sentence, because I know someone who fits that description perfectly. He hooked up with a millionaire widow who initially worshiped the ground he walked on and bought him anything he wanted, but she eventually got tired of his cheating and gave him the brush. However, you can say that good-looking people of both sexes are more prone to cheat. One of the biggest regrets I have in my life is being faithful while I was married, lol.
Riley Brown Added May 16, 2018 - 10:50pm
Well Michael I can't say I'm shocked that you don't agree with everything I said, I don't agree with everything I've said this month.
 
I think good looking and very very affluent people tend to cheat more frequently because they are tempted more often by attractive people and often feel they have less to lose than less affluent or attractive people.
 
Ugly people who have a relationship don't often get tempted by good looking people and they tend to think twice before risking what they have because they know another relationship might not be easy to find.
 
Look how frequently most of the super wealthy athletes and entertainment folks swap out partners, it's almost an occupational hazard.
Michael B. Added May 17, 2018 - 8:50am
Personally, I think monogamy goes against just about every human instinct that there is. People are hard-wired to fuck as many others as possible, some more than others, some MUCH more than others, but mostly all the same nonetheless.
 
A couple of years ago, I chanced upon an article that interviewed several women who chose not to get married and/or have children, and one of them stuck out. She said that she didn't want to have kids simply because she's a woman, and certainly didn't want to raise a hateful and resentful kid, as she knew herself too well and knew that she was too busy with her career and her own life to be a good parent. It's a shame that more women aren't like her! She also didn't express any regrets whatsoever. But, I'd say she was an outlier, as I cannot count how many 40-plus women I've heard on-line and in real life whimpering and whining about their loneliness and/or lack of kids. What to say...life's a bitch and then you die.
Riley Brown Added May 17, 2018 - 10:17am
Michael, I too know a few older career women who say they would do it again and like being single, but far more who don't hesitate to tell me they would gladly swap their career success for a family life if they could do it again. 
 
The number of older single career women who say they would do it again goes down quickly as they approach retirement age.  Younger women who are still working often project a tough and unapologetic public persona even when they secretly feel otherwise.  They know it's too late to change and figure they might as well claim they like what they have, but when I talk to them privately many fess up.
 
When older single career women start getting too old to work is when I see the most regret.  They see the day coming when the only thing they have in their life, WORK, is going to leave them behind, and start thinking about what they have left, NOTHING.  They start to get real envious of married friends who have families to spend time with, husbands to travel with, kids to do things with. 
 
Most retired single women are too old to attract any man they might want, all the "good ones" are married.  Many do some traveling to fill time, but it's not fulfilling to travel alone, it gets old real fast.  There is nothing that generates dissatisfaction faster than traveling in groups of people that incude loving couples and families, if you're single and know that will never be you.  They end up bitter and wish someone had slapped a little sense into them when they were younger so they had chosen to get married instead of becoming Ms. Corporate Super Woman.  Most spend the last half of their adult life lonely and regretting that decision.
Michael B. Added May 17, 2018 - 10:14pm
Riley, despite my occasional misogyny, I'll be the first to say that most women pretty much go through hell on a daily basis. Life isn't easy for them, fore sure.
Pardero Added May 18, 2018 - 1:47am
Riley Brown,
I do not have quite as much sympathy as you do. 
You mention "losers," as if we should all have a similar definition. As far as carrying their end of the log, it depends if that log is gold-plated cedar, or a Lodge pole. As Cliff said, some of those women need to reduce their expectations, or finish their lives as (affluent) cat women.
 
One of my little sisters asked me what I thought about a 21 year old being interested in her. I told her not to be so flattered. Young men are known to do sheep, My Little Ponies, and even each other. They are not particularly discriminating.
 
Those old bags should be glad that  those "losers" are willing to use them for relief, but that is a lot different than seeking them as life partners. If I recall, that demographic has the highest incidence of incurable, if non-fatal, STDs, which doesn't say much for their character, which already reeks of materialism, selfishness, and excessive social climbing.
 
Life isn't fair and women have a shorter shelf life.
I have a 40 something trucker buddy, who makes a killing on 20 something welfare mamas. Some barren old career woman wouldn't even acknowledge his existence, to look down her nose at him, but he wouldn't even notice or care. He talks of finding an Asian or Hispanic woman, because he wants a second family. 
 
As Bruce Springsteen sang, "Around here, baby, I've learned that you get what you can get."
 
I was chatting up a lovely 40 something last year. She had bragged about her business, among other things. Finally, she said," You're funny, would you happen to be rich, too?"
I hesitated, then burst out laughing. Not because of her remark, but because of my unspoken reply, "If I was rich, I'd have a 25 year old on my arm, right now." I prepared to take my leave, when she gave me her business card, but I never called.
 
What you might consider telling your associates, is that Mother Nature always has the last word.
Flying Junior Added May 18, 2018 - 2:56am
<Sarcasm>  Y'all are telling it like it is.  Damn straight!  Any woman who can't marry a successful man in her early twenties and keep him for the next thirty years while raising a big family is nothing more than an old maid or a cow.  It's too bad that they all start to lose their looks in their early thirties.  I've known several men who were quite attractive well into their seventies.  Of course we men are able to sire children well into our eighth decade in life.  The poor females in their late thirties, victims of their short shelf life, are really not trustworthy receptacles for our most excellent sperm.  Yes, it is pathetic when a single woman in her forties is desperate enough to put herself out there.  If she isn't lucky enough to already have a family and a loving husband of twenty-five years, she would probably be better off just to stay home instead of embarrassing herself by dating men at such a late stage in life.  No one wants to be seen going home with an aging barfly.
 
 
What's even more terrible is the widows who still see themselves as fit girlfriends for old men who can still walk.  How disgraceful!  These senior centers are worse than singles bars!  </Sarcasm>
 
It's not your avatar, Riley.  I only pointed out one time how incongruous your blatant misogynistic tendencies and writing are in connection to your photo of a cute, young man.  You are the President of the WB He-Man Woman Haters Club.
Flying Junior Added May 18, 2018 - 3:22am
There goes your cred as a true lady's man, Pardero.
Pardero Added May 18, 2018 - 3:51am
My friend was into 30 somethings, but I cautioned him about the likelihood of autistic or Downs syndrome offspring from those old timer gals, since he wants more kids. 
 
I think Riley was fair. Fair enough that I was annoyed hearing about the boy toys.
 
When I first hit this town, during the boom, I was seeing a barfly with a bad liver. Her friend, a 50 something cow, was raving about her 25 year old oil field stud. This was a woman that one could die from alcohol poisoning, before getting drunk enough. He left when the boom ended. She is a cat lady again.
 
Some sway-backed old nag made goo goo eyes at me, tonight at the C-store. I feigned naivite and stupidity, but was polite. She was buying a bottle of cheap booze, I was buying a gallon of water. If it had been the other way around, you never know. ; )
Flying Junior Added May 18, 2018 - 4:01am
Charlie!
Pardero Added May 18, 2018 - 4:58am
By the way, I have Riley as a female. Slightly long-headed for a girl, but no hint of Adams apple or facial hair. Neck too graceful for a male. No brow ridges and perfect smooth skin. Attractive and feminine mouth with typical Nordic thinner lips. Strong chin was once considered the ideal of beauty, as per my 1920s prints of cuties with bobbed hair. 
Although I don't care much for makeup, mascara would do wonders. Possibly, a striking beauty, by modern mainstream standards, with a makeover.
Not so far removed from this Hertwig Katzhutte lady lamp next to me.
 
 
David Montaigne Added May 18, 2018 - 8:37am
II think Riley's comment "Few career women have the luxury of a guy who is willing to be a house husband, and even fewer would tolerate a man with so little ambition" is very relevant.  Successful men are often happy to have a wife who will raise kids and take care of domestic chores to allow for his career.  The ones capable of loving anyone but themselves will love that wife.  Generally speaking, successful ambitious women will not be happy with a house husband to allow her focus on career goals - and she will not be happy/satisfied with his efforts
Riley Brown Added May 19, 2018 - 12:52pm
David, older single executive women face a dichotomy as they attempt to find love with a man who is smart and ambitious enough to be respected by their business associates, (and themselves), but compliant enough to be satisfied in the role of "kept man" or "house husband".  Those two things just don't play well together in one person.
 
If they want children the man can't be a peer on the same level they are, then there won't be anyone available to watch the kids, attend school meetings, take them places or stay with them when they are sick.  He's got to be a compliant "house husband", and very unfortunately most of those get bored and cheat even thought it usually costs them their "free ride".
 
The vast majority of those executive women find potential men in social situations where the man's physical attractiveness and the social skills of a good looking man who really just wants to get laid, are usually much larger factors than his brains and business accomplishments.  If they take him home and sex is great they quickly get hopeful that they can make him into something better, something so presentable that their business peers will not notice he's a "kept man". 
 
I've been out with many, they let their man drive their cars, sometimes they give him one.  They give him money so he can pay the bill at restaurants and tip the valet.  They take him shopping and buy him clothing they like. 
 
What the want is to know what it feels like to have a "real man" take care of them for a change, but they can't find one, so they try to make what they can catch into one, and that rarely works out.
Passion Blues Added May 20, 2018 - 10:05am
Oh Michael B, you so get me! :)
 
Great article Riley. Always enjoy hearing what you have to say
Stone-Eater Added May 20, 2018 - 11:22am
Hm. My daughter is now 15. And I was at home playing husband (ok, in IT you can do a lot remotely) for years - and I loved it. What's the problem ? I mean, I'm a man, does that mean I have to play Tarzan all the time or Arnie Schwarzenegger ? Fuck that.
 
I enjoyed these years a LOT, and you can imagine that my relation to my daughter could not be better. Because she KNOWS ME and I KNOW HER. I met a lot of fathers who told me: I should have done the same but I was too much into keeping an image upright and ..... I don't really know my kids.
 
Well, think LOL
Stone-Eater Added May 20, 2018 - 11:23am
Hi Passion :-) Glad you're back :-)
Tamara Wilhite Added May 20, 2018 - 2:34pm
Couple of observations.
 
I know multiple women who are the same age, late thirties to early 40s. I prioritized marriage and children but have had a career. They prioritized career, ignoring potential mates or outright getting rid of them when he proposed marriage and children because society says "you have to excel in your career first". I see it as a tragedy unfolding, but I understand why friends going through fertility treatment now don't want to see or hear about my children.
 
They hit their 30s and found that dating is like a game of musical chairs, a lot of good guys are already paired off, and you're left with the leftovers or retreads. AND you're not as attractive physically at 35 as you were at 25, so the 35-45 year old guys seeking a mate have wider selection while yours is narrower. If they don't find a mate, the choices are single motherhood or no children at all.
 
Because they believed feminists' LIES that they're as attractive and fertile at 40 as 30, 10% of women end up childless at 45 who PLANNED on having kids. That's as many as the 10% of women historically who ended up childless. This is so widespread it is a major contributor to the drop in the U.S. birthrate over the past 10 years. Go to Europe and it is worse - a third of female college graduates are childless at 45.
 
Because they don't want to denounce the ideology, they hate on men or society in general instead. Some rationalize it as good for the planet. A few find surrogate "children" as pets. A few struggle to adopt.
Katharine Otto Added May 20, 2018 - 3:47pm
Riley,
I couldn't comment before because I couldn't log into to WB until today.  This thread is rife with generalizations and stereotypes, so I would like to break through some of the fantasies about how "most" women and "most" men are.  I speak as a 65-year-old hag who never had children and didn't want them.  I'm glad more than ever for having made that choice, considering the state of the world now.  Because I didn't want children, I didn't see much point in getting married, although a "Mr. Right" may have been nice.  
 
I chose career because I had nothing better to do and was good at it, but it wasn't good for me and ruined my health.  As for relationship, I haven't had one, or a sexual relationship, in so long I can't remember what it was like.  None of it was ever good enough to extend it indefinitely.  Maybe I'm just an asexual being with low drive.  
 
We can never know what might have been.  It seems your article is more about the regrets of getting older and the roads not taken.  You just happened to choose aging, single, career women, but I'll bet you could interview any aging person and find they have fantasies about what might have happened if they made different choices.
 
I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a live-in best male friend, who would also be a bed partner.  However, since I've never had that, or even come close, I don't expect it to happen in this lifetime.  I'm amazed at those other people--the ones who have been happily married for 30+ years, for instance-- who can pull it off.
Riley Brown Added May 20, 2018 - 5:52pm
Katharine, it would be nice if this was not a problem that tends to target women but men do have it much easier because it's much easier for them to have stay at home wife raise their kids while they keep their nose to the grindstone at work than it is for a woman to do the same. 
 
I think you are unusual but not alone, not ever wanting kids or a partner, and not missing them, most people your age feel horribly alone if they don't have someone.
 
If you were to want to get married to some younger guy right now I'm sure you realize it wouldn't be easy, the younger men you wold find attractive would be unlikely to be attracted to you.  However affluent men the same age find it relatively easy, just go to some very expensive resorts and you will see plenty of them sporting young good looking women on their arms. 
 
Yes, life is not fair to older women.
Riley Brown Added May 20, 2018 - 5:56pm
Tamara, I think you ability to observe and analyze are quite astute.
 
I too think the feminists who sucker young women into putting their careers first, telling them they can make things work later on are very sadly misguiding them.
 
Once they get headed down that path the vast majority will spend the second half of their life in a state of regret.  Most do regret what they did, far more than the percent of married women regret getting married and having children because they think they would have been happier as a career woman.
Tamara Wilhite Added May 20, 2018 - 10:58pm
Riley Brown  Thank you for the compliment.
 
I had to have fertility treatments for my firstborn in my 20s, so I can speak to the subject when friends between 35-42 are trying ... but when I mention fertility drops off with age and complications worsen with time, something science has known for a long time, it is darn near forbidden. Biological reality is not PC.
Flying Junior Added May 21, 2018 - 3:23am
I'm kinda done with Riley posts about women.
 
I am impressed that three women actually responded.
 
My wife was attractive enough at twenty-five, thirty-five and forty-five to attract a mate.  I was a lucky son-of-a-bitch to catch her when I had the chance.  She  made all of the difference to my life.  When I married her twenty-two years ago, her body resembled that of Marilyn Monroe.  This is not unusual for American women.  Women remain attractive well into their seventh decade for the men that love them.
 
Anyone who thinks that a forty-year old woman cannot possibly be attractive is certainly not a heterosexual male.
 
I'm sorry about your lack of self-esteem, Tamara.  I can only assume that you are beaten down by the generally chauvinist RW culture.
 
Men and women age at approximately the same rate.  Happily married couples stay together all of their lives.  As they well should.  The love and friendship only grows stronger with time.  Women live longer.
 
There is something seriously wrong with this culture when women are only too ready to agree with some chauvinist son-of-a-bitch such as Riley.
Riley Brown Added May 21, 2018 - 10:18am
Tamara, I've been though the enlightening experience that includes amniocentesis statistics and was shocked to see how fast a couples chances of having a healthy baby goes down as they get older.  Even if you forget about the increasing chance of infertility there the chances of chromosomal abnormalities that causes problems like Down syndrome goes from 1/525 for a 20 year old woman to 1/65 by the time they are 40.  That's not something they can fight off by staying in shape, it's just natural degradation that can't be fought off.
 
Don't listen to Flying Jr. he's presuming anyone who acknowledges the physiological realities and our cultural realities is a "chauvinist son-of-a-bitch", and I don't usually regard people who hide their heads in the sand and ignore the facts as credible sources.  If you say more about the women YOU KNOW, he's likely to start calling you a chauvinist too.
 
There are lots of reasons why men and women's fertility can diminish with age and most have nothing to do with their brains or attractiveness.  As we age we all become susceptible to lots of things that aren't fun, including Glaucoma and Cancer.  Jr. is no more immune to the process if he is a male, than you because you're female, in fact I think there are more men in infertility clinics than women.  When it comes to sexual attractiveness, older men frequently lose their ABILITY to have erections as they get older, and women are never at risk for losing their attractiveness because they can't have sex anymore. 
 
I don't think it's fair that it's much much harder for a women to put off having a family so she can have an outstanding career, but thing denying it's true is foolish, the evidence is overwhelming.
Riley Brown Added May 21, 2018 - 10:36am
Flying Jr I reread Tamar's posts a few times and can't see where she every indicated she lacks self esteem.  I don't think it shows a lack of self esteem when she shares here personal observations on this forum subject either.  Presuming she's a female it's likely her opinion is based on much more honest input from other women, than your's might be because women tend to talk more openly about personal issues with other women.
 
This is not something I would expect young women or most men to hear the truth about from older women who are qualified to explain what's happened to them and their friends, and tell us what they think about it.
 
Your wife is very clearly not in the subset being discussed in this forum, since she did not put all of her effort into becoming a career woman, instead she got married to you.  In the context of this forum, I think she made a good decision and is likely to be more happy for the rest of her life as a result. 
 
It's nice to hear you say how attractive you find you wife, even at 45, but that's hardly persuasive in the context of this forum.  What YOUR wife has means little in the overall statistics.  If she had 3 breasts that would similarly have no effect on how many the average woman has.
 
I think before you post again you should ask your wife if she knows any older single older executive women without kids, and ask her how they feel.  You might be surprised how many agree with Tamara
Flying Junior Added May 21, 2018 - 4:12pm
I guess I probably missed the entire thrust of your article.
 
I'll be more careful.
Tamara Wilhite Added May 21, 2018 - 7:46pm

Flying Junior  That patronizing attitude is why Trump won. "Oh, poor girl, she only believes this because she's oppressed. That makes her a victim and me the holy savior."
 
Next on the list is writing the person off as stupid, crazy or evil because liberals deny that someone can rationally and morally disagree with them.
 
It is lazy moralizing on the part of liberals, to say that they and they alone are smart, rational, educated, kind, smart, "love" ... it lets them dismiss everyone else as a stupid, crazy evil hater. And they can attract all kinds of people who want those desirable labels. Good branding, I'll grant them that.

Next on the list is the oppression of identity politics. I've been told by liberal bullies I'm not really a woman because I'm conservative. And told I'm a traitor to the feminist cause, though the fact that I have an engineering degree, work in IT and have children made me look like an ideal ... until I was found guilty of heresy and told I'm an enemy of the tribe. Liberals' identity politics is a reversion to the Old Testament Jews being told "worship Yaweh or be expelled/killed". That real women, real blacks, real X must be Democrats or they're traitors.
 
The only slight benefit of the religious levels of devotion into liberal politics is that their search for the heretic and hatred of the unbeliever is causing them to tear apart their own coalition, purging major figures for questioning the fundamentalists and driving out the moderates who are a large part of their voting base. But that's what happens when you tie morality to the political ideology and then compete to be the most moral.
 
SJWs are liberals, but they're the religious right of the far left. I don't always agree with the most religious right, but your patronizing, elitist attitude and that of too many of your peers is why so many just go along in public out of fear of the liberal hate mobs, literally or figuratively.
Flying Junior Added May 22, 2018 - 3:58am
Whoa
Flying Junior Added May 22, 2018 - 5:36am
I did marry one of the original wave of feminists.  So I have that under my belt.  But I do not claim to be an expert on women's issues.  I like to think of myself as a feminist, but you poked holes in that whole thing.  I am better at detecting callous attitudes from men who look down on women.
 
I'm actually pretty good at observing and pointing out bad behavior by men.  But I guess I was off-base with Riley's thing?
 
There is no reason why a self-respecting woman can't be a conservative.  Of course!  I actually look to conservative women to salvage what is left of the republican party.  Nothing would please me more than to see a surge of powerful women take on the problematic, male-dominated republican party.
 
Nikki Haley is the only sane voice in the Trump administration who hasn't been driven out as a threat to the monster.
 
I admired Rex Tillerson.  He's about in the same place as Bob Corker today.
Riley Brown Added May 22, 2018 - 9:34am
Flying Jr. I'm not so sure you need a woman to kick the Republican's in the behinds, or that doing that will be more productive.
 
From what I can see Trump's administration put more women in high positions than any recent predecessor, Republican or Democratic, and most got attacked because they were conservatives.
 
Trump is Republican in name only, they hate him and most tried as hard as they could to unseat him before he was elected and haven't cooperated with most of his agenda ever since.   There are enough Republicans to vote anything Trump wants into law and he's gotten almost nothing done because "his own party" won't give him their votes, they would rather see him fail.
Flying Junior Added May 23, 2018 - 2:44am
Always a fresh perspective, Riley.  I guess you are talking about hardcore conservatives who don't see Trump as dangerous or radical enough?
 
This idea I have about republican women saving the party so far hasn't panned out.  I've been praying for it for years and years.  The men are obviously out-to-lunch intellectually and spiritually.  Women seem to be equally capable of holding dangerous political viewpoints as do their male counterparts as far I have been able to see.  I just got another kick in the teeth listening to representatives of the activist community of republican women from San Diego County on NPR this afternoon.
 
They were proud that California had done as much as any other state in the Union to elect Trump.  Not with votes, but with hundreds of thousands of phone calls to republican voters in other states.
 
I did learn something.  One of the older ladies explained why we never see Trump tee-shirts, bumper stickers and overt republican paraphernalia.  The little dears do not wish to offend.  They understand that many democrats are fearful that Trump is destroying important institutions nor do they wish to offend democrats who have been brain-washed.
 
I always thought that the reason that nobody but nobody ever breathed the name of the vile demon in public was simply out of a sense of decency and decorum.
 
One person mentions Trump in public per year on average for any given hearer in San Diego.  Taboo.  I heard maybe three people so far.
Riley Brown Added May 23, 2018 - 10:20am
Flying Jr, it's not much different North of San Diego, Trump supporters rarely mention their opinions in public, certainly never at work because so many of the people who hate Trump don't hesitate to leap into action and aggressively confront them if they do.  It's not that most are afraid to debate the issues but more that mentioning Trump in any public place turns what might be a pleasant situation into a very nasty one.
 
I think the real hostility didn't start with Trump it started with Obama because Obama supporters very actively called anyone who didn't like anything Obama said RACISTS and that got to be a very popular thing to do in public.  It's hard to call people RACISTS without offending them a lot. 
 
During the election we saw that with Trump, if you liked anything Trump said you were a RACIST, and if you didn't agree with anything Hillary said you must be STUPID and a RACIST. 
 
I might be wrong but I think that tactic backfired and cost Hillary the election.  Her supporters intimidated lots of independents into hating them and their candidate, Hillary who they associated with unjustified insults.  Those independents were bludgeoned into public silence by Hillary supporters and then voted against THEM by casting their votes for Trump.  Trump might not have been better in their minds but at least he didn't insult them and treat them like "a basket of deplorable s", if they didn't agree with everything Trump said.
Jeff Michka Added May 29, 2018 - 8:47pm
Riley has to boost his rightist creds with WBers, so what better way than pan women, who are quite capable of making up their minds over issues like career vs "having a family," but don't let that get in the way of good, rightist red meat.  Iknow you'll say otherwise, Riley, but your stuff reads like the last I heard from the former CEO of the firm I've gone back to work at.  He'd claim women all leave and really just want a job so they can "afford a family," and will leave the company in a lurch by quitting their job to have that family, so they should get paid a lot less for that reason.  Then there's ol Michael B...he got in his shot at women, who he drools over, but doesn't really like or respect. I guess it takes a real twisted personal view to be Michael B And I really question Riley's last attempt at rightist cred building by trying, "If you just not called them racists"  what?  Hillary would have won?  Baaaad libs, but Riley has little problem demeaning women, I can't recall Riley making racist statements, but it's early.  Maybe his next article will be a tome to all those quiet Trumpist racists who really aren't racists like Trump, because they've never lynched anyone.  Typical "the new Riley article,"  yaaaawn. 
Eric Reports Added Jun 3, 2018 - 11:02am
Having a family is God's plan.  All the hype of a so-called career cannot change that.  Who wants to die alone?
Ryan Messano Added Jun 3, 2018 - 11:47am
Great article, Riley, and wonderful comment, Tamara.
 
The best way to destroy asociety is to attack its fertility rate, and feminism has some that, along with contraception, abortion, porn, and homosexuality.  
 
All sex outside of marriage is destructive to the individual and society.  
 
In 1940, birth control and abortion were nearly unheard of, drugs and porn were used by less than 2% of the population.  Today, all hell has broke loose as societal norms are under attack.  The main offenders are libertine makes like Jeff and Flying J.  These miscreants constantly whine and cry about getting their free speech which they then abuse with their stupid and corrupt ideas.
Jeff Michka Added Jun 3, 2018 - 2:06pm
And, of course, ol Ryan has an in with whispers to both founding fathers and gawd.  No here's the chance to roll out your faiths to Ryan the extremist runny dog lacky, who thinks he should be congratulated for his "news" efforts, and not be met by any critical reviews of "Ryan's truth", Truth being absent from every aspect of Ryan's life.  Remnd folks how you got tossed out of YOUR Church,  LOL.  You are still a total fool, RYAN, AS YOU OUTLINED ABOVE. 
John Minehan Added Jun 3, 2018 - 7:50pm
The thing is a lot of single, older, professional women I've met have kids from earlier marriages that failed.
 
To say something reassuring to all, anything you do has a good chance of failing . . . so don't let fear of failure keep you from making a good effort, even knowing it has a good chance of going south. 
Jeff Michka Added Jun 4, 2018 - 12:58pm
Riley has shored up his right wing creds with this article among several designed "to get them on my side,"  fearing more rightist will engage in "avatar belief" like a few have and try and label him gay due to the av's look.  Good job, facist dawgs, you got ol Xtain Messanic hanging around touting his "news" and bad mouthing people which is a bigger joke than Riley's attempt at self branding. 
Ryan Messano Added Jun 4, 2018 - 1:07pm
Riley, I'd delete Jeff's comments.  It's for his own good.  I do it shamelessly, and all who are wise and virtuous love me for it.  It's too bad he never got a whipping as a kid, because he obviously could have used a few. 
Jeff Michka Added Jun 4, 2018 - 7:14pm
Riley better do whgat arch "conservative running dog, Ryan Messano tells him.  Ryan does most things shamelessly, thinking, somehow, gawd will forgive him and he'll go to heaven because he's such a tough conservative.  Better shape up, Riley!!  You want Ryan to approve of you, don't you?
Cliff M. Added Jun 4, 2018 - 9:41pm
The bottom line is that marriage and relationship's are an absolute crapshoot.Success and failure are running about 50 % each. Maybe some encouragement and less negativity would help.Messano and Riley make an interesting couple . An arch conservative and a conservative liberal.
Riley Brown Added Jun 4, 2018 - 11:09pm
Ryan I appreciate your suggestion but am going to leave Jeff's comments intact so other forum participants can make their own minds up about his mental state and ability to present logical arguments. 
 
I don't know about you but I haven't been impressed by his recent lack of logical arguments and insults.
 
I see that a lot in children, but not that often in adults.  Kids often start losing and call everyone names, adults are usually more mature.  Perhaps I should also remind myself that we really don't know anything about Jeff, he could be a teen age girl for all we really know.
 
He sure seems to know a lot about other forum participants, I'm learning all sorts of stuff about myself and my motives from his insightful observations.  If nothing else his posts are good for a laugh.
Riley Brown Added Jun 4, 2018 - 11:16pm
Ryan I think society is in a totally different place than we were in the 40's.  Porn has always existed but in the past it took a huge effort and was largely the product of the mob.  Today anyone with a phone or web cam can get in the game and make and distribute it almost risk free, and anyone who wants to view it can online for free.
 
Easy and reliable birth control didn't exist in the 40's and lots of women did get pregnant outside of marriage.  Out of wedlock births were stigmatized and lost of the girls got disappeared until they had abortions, often illegally, or delivered in secret and gave the child away.  Today abortions are easy to get in most parts of the US and reliable birth control has been cheap and easy to get for decades. 
 
The world is very different today, in good and bad ways.
Ryan Messano Added Jun 5, 2018 - 12:20pm
That's nice Riley.  A woman's approach and a man's approach to a problem are often different, but that doesn't make either one wrong. 
 
"I don't know about you but I haven't been impressed by his recent lack of logical arguments and insults."
 
That makes two of us:).
 
"I see that a lot in children, but not that often in adults.  Kids often start losing and call everyone names, adults are usually more mature.  Perhaps I should also remind myself that we really don't know anything about Jeff, he could be a teen age girl for all we really know."
LOL, quite true.
 
"He sure seems to know a lot about other forum participants, I'm learning all sorts of stuff about myself and my motives from his insightful observations.  If nothing else his posts are good for a laugh."
Yes, Jeff's psycho analysis is a thing of wonder and amazement. 
 
"Ryan I think society is in a totally different place than we were in the 40's.  Porn has always existed but in the past it took a huge effort and was largely the product of the mob.  Today anyone with a phone or web cam can get in the game and make and distribute it almost risk free, and anyone who wants to view it can online for free."
Yes, it is and sadly so, Riley.  Less than 2% of American men had viewed porn in 1940.  Today, you can't study porn, because they can't find a control group of men who have never viewed porn.  And you are right about porn always having existed, but never as it is available today.  The 4 A's are driving it.  Availability, Affordability,Accessibility, and Anonymity.  It needs to be banned.  Every mass shooting from Columbine on has involved one or more of the following three factors present in the shooter(s).  There are no exceptions.  Porn, psychotropic drugs, and Islam. 
 
"Easy and reliable birth control didn't exist in the 40's and lots of women did get pregnant outside of marriage.  Out of wedlock births were stigmatized and lost of the girls got disappeared until they had abortions, often illegally, or delivered in secret and gave the child away.  Today abortions are easy to get in most parts of the US and reliable birth control has been cheap and easy to get for decades."
Birth control wasn't legalized until 1965.  Since then, 200 million Americans have been either contracepted or aborted away (140 contracepted, 60 million aborted).  Contrast that with the fewer than 2 million Americans killed in all our wars combined.  Here is a great book on why what happened happened.  The rate of out of wedlock births was a tiny fraction of what it is today, and we didn't have 110 million Americans (1/3rd of our population) having an STD.  The left tries to make it seem like it was always an issue.  It wasn't.  It's a clever lie they have to try and normalize the dysfunction they spread and practice. 
 
It is a different world. There are two wonderful books about the roots of these changes and where we are headed.  David Kupelian's "The marketing of evil", "the snapping of the American mind", and "how evil works" are all astute observations.  Ciao.
 
 
 
 
Jeff Michka Added Jun 5, 2018 - 8:10pm
Well, you and Ryan exercise their limited control by deleting speech they don't like.  My, my, how sprcial...You got more added to your rightwing creds, or are you trying to show Ryan you're following his orders?
Ryan Messano Added Jun 5, 2018 - 8:32pm
Poor beta male Jeff.  Has no idea how to rule himself, and thinks it’s cruel and unusual for a man to assume the place in the universe God gave him.  
Jeff Michka Added Jun 5, 2018 - 10:09pm
Ah, now we get MAR. Nice guy, Ryan.  Of course, conserve Riley, who through his articles try and claim he knows all about women, but knows nothing except rightist ideas about women, gets called on it, and complains about "my state of mind," which despite Riley's crap is an attack, but he has to please Ryan and get his stamp of approval.  So, do you approve of Riley, Ryan the human douchebag? Poor Ryan, did that fertile turd take so we can expect a new Vinny and Ryan in a few months.  Ryan has no place in the universe and is definitely one of the InCel movement.  Ryan can't have a relationship with a woman.  Even his Mother hated him, and voted to throw him out of his church.
Bill H. Added Jun 5, 2018 - 10:55pm
Ryan - Do you believe you are the superior thinker here on WB?
This is a website that allows all variations of thought to be posted, analyzed, and critiqued by all of us. You have an "out there" view that many will think is whacko, but you are free to put it out.
Don't think for one minute that you may be the "ultimate answer" to all ideals (as indicated on this YouTube video especially at 16:18), along with other YouTube videos).
Many out here have different views and ideas.
That is what WB is all about.
You are no better than anyone else out here.
Ryan Messano Added Jun 5, 2018 - 11:20pm
Bill, your argument is known as the “appeal to popularity” logical fallacy.  No one who cares about the truth should worry about how popular an idea may or may not be. The truth is often unpopular.
 
I made no claims to be a superior thinker, I simply pursue the truth wherever it leads. 
 
I never claimed to be superior, but I do love and unapolegically  promote superior ideas.
 
Bill H. Added Jun 5, 2018 - 11:34pm
Then why do you demean those with alternate ideas?
Do you think your ideas or thoughts are superior?
Ryan Messano Added Jun 6, 2018 - 1:06am
Because, “open rebuke is better then secret love”.  It leads to cognitive dissonance in the wise, and irrational anger in the foolish, which is a win/win situation.  
 
I do believe historical truths are superior to all others.  Anyone can find them, and I am continually searching to find them myself, as those know the most who know they know the least.
 
The humble can learn, the proud never do.  
Bill H. Added Jun 6, 2018 - 1:18am
Insults, defamation, and libel to other WB contributors is neither rational nor a "win/win" situation.
History changes, as do truths.
The world was found not to be flat.
wsucram15 Added Jun 6, 2018 - 2:56am
Ryan..hi..nice to see you back.  But again it is not polite to judge another. Matthew 7:1,5 -
1.“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
 
I see though that you arent using the bible just condescension, which is far worse. You know the site far better than Riley here...play nice, please?
We almost lost the site some time ago and would like to keep it.  Use your wit and wisdom, But please play nice..thanks. 
 
wsucram15 Added Jun 6, 2018 - 3:15am
On another topic..Riley.  I dont comment you much because you are also condescending to women and you speak about things in the third person with little authority.  Like rape.
As a single mother who educated along the way to a masters degree, and had the job to go with it ( I was very lucky), I have to say I did quite a bit with my kids.  yes they complain I wasnt there for some things but in the same breath say I was up their butts all the time. So yeah.  I was around.  Worked with the school recreation centers, band and all that stuff. Didnt like PTA though.
Now as far as marriage. I was married twice..ten years both times. I left the first marriage due to abuse and the second was mutual because he was an addict and  it was far too dangerous for our small son and my daughter.
I had a variety of relationships but had more guy friends because I really didnt trust men actually. I found them to be more backstabbing especially in business than women.  My guy friends are people I have known for years and I socialize with their wives. Three of my best friends were gay..(ryan I dont care),  which is 40 years now. Two of my other close friends I have known since elementary school and we talk often.
I dont think until you know who you are as a person, what you actually like and dislike..and all that happy crap, you can be in a healthy relationship unless somehow you are able to sustain it from the start.
I dont believe that my career was any part of that insecurities were a part of that..which in a relationship worth working for, you work on together. 
I have that now.  It does work out for some gals that arent 20..
Flying Junior Added Jun 6, 2018 - 4:51am
Riley Brown.
 
An authoritative expert on all issues between the sexes, in particular, women's problems, states:
 
I think society is in a totally different place than we were in the 40's.  Porn has always existed but in the past it took a huge effort and was largely the product of the mob.  Today anyone with a phone or web cam can get in the game and make and distribute it almost risk free, and anyone who wants to view it can online for free.
 
Thank you for your update on pornography.  Yes, since a man could draw a picture with a charcoal, I guess you could say that pornography has existed.  Most depictions of the female form that have survived the ages are considered art.
 
Mob pornography in the 1940s?  What?  I think that they were making more money from other vices not to mention protection and strong-arm rackets.  I used to own an incomplete deck of cards from the 1940s.  It wasn't exactly as graphic as Bob Guccione and Hugh Hefner in the 1970s, but these were pretty girls.  I showed them to my thirteen year old cousin in 1976 who promptly stole them.
 
As far as popular culture in the 1940s...
 
Hollywood did a damn good job of portraying desirable females even if they were not actually filmed having sex.  But for those who had to see something closer to the deed...  Pornography has always been a free enterprise thing with absolutely no connection to any mob whatsoever.  Postcards.  Dirty magazines.  Books.
 
I'm only guessing!  lol
Riley Brown Added Jun 6, 2018 - 9:18am
Flying, when I spoke about the mob being in charge of porn I was referring to most porn movies that most Americans could see in porn theaters, not any thing you'd buy in a sex shop like decks of cards that were frequently imported from other countries.  I wasn't talking about sex toys either, or even magazines, I was talking about porn movies in theaters.
 
Before computers the only place most people, prominently men, could go to see hard core porn movies were porn theaters, and their content was provided by mob entities. 
 
That didn't start changing until about the time of "Deep Throat", and even that movie got permission from and gave a cut to mob entities.  If you owned a porn theater up to that point you had to buy your porn from mob entities, and if you didn't you could expect anything from a beating to a fire.
 
Since then the ability to make and distribute port has become easier especially after beta and VHS became popular and the digital age made it so easy anyone could do it and the mob lost their grip on their monopoly.
Riley Brown Added Jun 6, 2018 - 9:28am
Wuzcram, I am sorry to hear your saga.  It does sound like the first few men you picked were horrible choices who cost you dearly. 
 
Despite that, correct me if I'm wrong, it sounds like you did have children and don't regret the fact that you did even though it delayed your career.
 
Looking back I'm sure you wish you could do it again and make better choices the first time, but do you think you'd be happier now if you had skipped the marriages, and never had children so you could have a much more spectacular career?
 
Do you know women who did just that, forgo the family stuff so they could become a CEO or CFF type.  Now that they are older do they tell you they envy you and your children?
Ryan Messano Added Jun 6, 2018 - 10:18am
Thank you, wsucram15, Matt 7 is the most misquoted and abused passage in the Bible. It does not mean not to judge, it means don’t tell other people not to do what you are doing.  Context!
 
Thank you.
Jeff Michka Added Jun 6, 2018 - 4:37pm
Gee, I guess that last comment directed at me was suppose to be insulting, but I can't be offend, because I simply don't understand what you mean.  Obviously, you superior moral values and logic esaped me.  So to inflict as much insult as you can, please explain it.  Thanks.  Kick someone handicapped or homeless for me as a "matter of faith."  To Riley's article, wsucram (a woman) noted how condescending Riley was in article, and basis of why I find Riley's knowledge of women and women's issues, lacking.  It's just a step above, "All they can do is want children and cook!!"
wsucram15 Added Jun 6, 2018 - 7:18pm
Ryan..we will have to discuss this again, as we have many times. So forgetful.
Riley..no I didnt hold back at all to have children. Actually, I held back to have a life. I traveled for a while, played music in a band for a couple of years and ultimately under pressure got married and had my daughter.
While I was pregnant with my son..I went to college every day since I took 15 credit hours and I walked to and from classes until June.  I finished school after I had him and worked as well.  It might be the only time you could say I wasnt home much. 
I have known a couple of women who were CEOs or titled members of a company.  They work hard for those titles.  I knew and was going to work for the woman who reorganized Waste Mgt systems at another company she took over as CEO.  The position I wanted was taken so I passed.  I believe she had two children.
One of my best friends is a treasurer of a company..a titled comptroller. She was hired as an A/P clerk 25 years ago, she was trusted and trained.  Ive never known such a busy person, you make appointments with her for lunch even. 
Another woman I know has two boys, grown.  she is an attorney but works as the HR Director for a large multinational corporation. she is a Vice President and a shareholder. 
The women above are my inspiration..they have amassed quite a bit of success plus have the full pkg to boot.
I dont think women hold off anything..I think they push through it and sometimes support everyone while their other halves get what they need.  This is the failing...wanting to get theirs first.  Its not the women..in many cases.
Jeff Michka Added Jun 6, 2018 - 8:52pm
I think women do wh, and most I know are happy as who they are, not unhappy because they aren't at they want, when they want, whether it's work or children.  I don't think one excludes the other, or like Riley says become bitter for making "the wrong choice." (wrong according to whom?)
Riley Brown Added Jun 7, 2018 - 8:24pm
Jeff, from what I can see executive women are very happy with their choices and the affluence it brings them, and most don't really get regretful until they are close to retirement age.
 
All the ones I know who are young love the power and accomplishment, and the money too.  They see themselves as self empowered and are and should be proud of what they accomplished. 
 
In their late 40's they realize child bearing is not likely and even finding  "a good man" that they would like to live with is increasingly just a dream that they realize will never happen.  The men they have respect for have too much respect for themselves to become kept men, and the ones who are willing are hardly the type they really want.
 
They all have married friends who didn't accomplish what they did but have kids, and will have "a real life" after they retire.  What kind of real life do you think an affluent female ex-CEO or CFO is going to have after she retires without a family ?
 
Do you think she can do the rich man thing and land a younger woman who will bear and raise children for her while she works so that he and the family will be there once she retires?  Look around, it happens a lot with men, hardly ever with women.
 
Do you think she will go traveling alone and love her life of freedom?  Men in the same position usually take along some women whose 20 years younger, do you think men who are 20 years younger want to attach themselves to senior women?
 
I'm not saying it's fair, it's just the culture we live in and older single women usually get cats or a dog, not husbands when they get older.
Flying Junior Added Jun 8, 2018 - 1:58am
Ryan-Turdie-Head,
 
Judge not lest ye be judged.
 
Vengeance is mine saith the Lord.
 
"Matt 7 is the most misquoted and abused passage in the Bible."
 
You don't know jack shit about Judaism, Christianity, Spirituality or Morality.  You could read the Bible cover to cover twenty times.  You still wouldn't understand one word.
 
Your ilk makes me puke.
 
Just remember this if you truly resemble something close to a believer.
 
The only mortal sin is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.  You just came pretty close.  The words of Christ are holy.
 
How dare you?  I count myself among those who interpret the Beatitudes as Jesus intended.
 
What a sickening and disgusting thing to say even for a crazy as a rabid dog phony christian like you.
 
You're just dumber than a rock.  What were you doing in Sunday School?  Blowing spitballs?  I think you should think twice about praising various personalities on the WB.  Such praise carries a dull weight.
Flying Junior Added Jun 8, 2018 - 2:00am
I was trying to find the thread where you condemned homosexuality.  That's probably your main line of business.  Not worth my time.
Riley Brown Added Jun 9, 2018 - 10:24am
Wsucram, you've side stepped this forum's issues by using women who did not avoid having children so they could compete better at work and that is not the demographic this forum is discussing.  I think they have the best of both worlds and will probably be very happy.
 
This forum is about those women who put off marriage and child bearing until they are too old to have kids and too old to attract the type of man they would like to have as a partner for the rest of their life.
 
Most of the women I'm talking about are very high level execs in huge companies that practically everyone who reads the business section of the news would recognize instantly.  Trying to become the CFO of a company like that often takes much more dedication that seems to be possible for women who take time off to have a family and personally take care of their children when they have problems.  As I've mentioned, it's equally unlikely for men who might try to do the same.  Most of the men who succeed are "married to their jobs".
 
The biggest difference being that it's far easier for men to do that and have a family, than women.   Families that never see Dad because he works so much are common, families that never see Mom are rare.  Exec Dads rarely take much more than a day off to have kids, Mom's have to. 
 
Most big company Execs make so much money that their spouse doesn't need to work at all, and when the spouse is MOM in our culture, everyone approves if she stays home and takes care of the kids.  In our culture DAD rarely wants to be seen as a "House Husband", and that's part of why female execs can't balance a family and work as easily.  It's aLso what makes it hard for successful female execs to find a good man, they usually want one that can compete financially and intellectually, and those men don't want them.
 
If you had told your current partner that you wanted him to quit working and become your "house husband", do you think he would have liked the idea?  If so he's quite unusual.
 
I'm not saying it's fair, I'm just pointing  out reality.
 
 
Ryan Messano Added Jun 9, 2018 - 11:04am
Riley, permit me to say I absolutely love your recent posts and comments.  
 
Thank you you for your defense,  one good turn deserves another.  
Dr. Rupert Green Added Jun 9, 2018 - 3:32pm
@Riley. "On the surface and at work they are all highly respected hard working women who have the world by the balls, but when I talk to them at lunch and dinner, almost to a person, they think they would be happier if they had worked less and had a family.  Many have told me just that."
 
As some men visit Indonesia to get little boys or Asia to get little girls, those women go to the Caribbean to get some frisky young men. I have heard tell from my friend (taxi driver) of being picked up by such women for a hard...work out. I guess, then, women must be warned that for killing themselves to accomplish and not having a man's leg over them at night signals unfullfilment.
To be crude, when I visit Canada, where women are in need of men, in the company of women whom you spoke, I often remind them that some women would pay a high price to have a man juxtapose a finger in their privities.
Riley Brown Added Jun 9, 2018 - 7:57pm
Thank you for the kind words Ryan.
 
Dr. Green, I think may of the people who get so upset with me mix up what's PC with reality and don't want to see things that aren't PC even if that's what really goes on.  It's a head in the sand mentality.
 
I'm not attacking successful women, I'm just pointing out how frequently the most successful women forgo a family life to get ahead and then do regret it very much later on.  Were I to advise young women, and sometimes I do, I always suggest they include a healthy family life in their future because when they get older and especially after retirement, they are much more likely to feel they have a fulfilling future, if they have a family to spend it with than if they don't.
 
That's a little like telling someone to ignore their passion for dance, art or acting, and get a degree in something that's more likely to help them earn a good living.  I acknowledge the fact that some people do make it big following their passion, but far more would be better off aiming at a career were success is much more likely.
Jeff Michka Added Jun 12, 2018 - 8:43pm
Riley:  you are still condescending to women, and my wife was a corporate VP, and we had kids.  There wasn't all this angst you try and describe, which sounds more like Millennial whining, not from older professional women.  Aren't you a millennial, Riley?  hmmmm.  So you understand:  Whoop Whoop!!
Dr. Rupert Green Added Jun 12, 2018 - 9:56pm
@ Ryan. "You don't know jack shit about Judaism, Christianity, Spirituality or Morality.  You could read the Bible cover to cover twenty times.  You still wouldn't understand one word.
 
Your ilk makes me puke.
 
What a sickening and disgusting thing to say even for a crazy as a rabid dog phony christian like you.
 
You're just dumber than a rock.  What were you doing in Sunday School?  Blowing spitballs?  I think you should think twice about praising various personalities on the WB.  Such praise carries a dull weight."
 
In schools in the hood, students lacking the vocabulary call everything mother fucker. I would believe contributors here would not be so lacking in the vocabulary that they respond accordingly. Preceding informs my comment.
Good piece and defense, Riley.
 
Riley Brown Added Jun 13, 2018 - 10:31am
Jeff, I think you need to read the forums, or at least the forum titles before you comment, because you missed the point. I am a little flabbergasted by what you said since you've used your own wife as a "poster woman" example to show me how wrong I am, and she doesn't even fit the title of this forum, (The happy single woman myth).  Here I am suggesting women will be happier if they get married and have children before it's too late, and you tell me your wife, who did just that, is proof I am condescending to women and wrong.
 
 
This forum is very specifically aimed at women who forgo family life so they can be more competitive at work until they are too old to have children, and also often no longer attractive to the type of men they would like to marry.
 
Have you bothered to ask your wife if she knows any executive women who fall into the category this forum is about, (older executive women who are not married and don't have kids)?
 
I suspect you haven't but if she knows several close to retirement age she will agree with me, they probably envy her at this point in their lives.
 
You might also try wandering thought a few of the more expensive retirement communities, they are full of women in the category this forum deals with, and most blame their misery on the fact that they put off marriage and children until it was too late.  The most expensive retirement communities target them, they have lots of money and no family so they lead them to believe that if they buy into their community, the community will become their surrogate family.   Those are beautiful places but most of the single women in them still wish they had a real family life and envy those who do.
 
The most miserable people in retirement communities usually have no family and the complaint I hear most often from those who do is that their kids don't call often enough or spend enough time with them. 
 
As for who or what I am, what the heck does that have to do with this forum?  I go to great lengths to try and let the facts speak for themselves.