By Lincoln Cole
Okay. May I begin with a rarity? Usually, I start with a short blurb about what I read as the plot. Sometimes, I’m disappointed because what either the author has sent me as a description of the book or what I read on Amazon does not adhere to the actual contents. In this case, may I submit the Amazon blurb:
A quiet little mountain town is hiding a big problem. When the townsfolk of Raven's Peak start acting crazy, Abigail Dressler is called upon to discover the root of the evil affecting people. She uncovers a demonic threat unlike any she's ever faced and finds herself in a fight just to stay alive.
Abigail rescues Haatim Arison from a terrifying fate and discovers that he has a family legacy in the supernatural that he knows nothing about. Now she's forced to protect him, which is easy, but also to trust him if she wants to save the townsfolk of Raven's Peak. Trust, however, is something hard to have for someone who grew up living on the knife's edge of danger.
Can they discover the cause of the town's insanity and put a stop to it before it is too late?
The above is what attracted me to the book. The disappointment was that the above blurb is mostly untrue. The actual is: Abigail spends a lot of the book rescuing Haatim and tracking down a connection to her mentor who saved her at the beginning of the book. Yes, Haatim has a secret and yes, he does ‘team up’ with Abigail, but it’s a reluctant team up. They don’t even reach Raven’s Peak until page 128 of my epub version which has 205 pages. And it’s not even in Raven’s Peak proper that the weird stuff is happening.
Some of this is explained, but if I had known this was the plot, I might have passed.
Arthur Vangeest: demon hunter
Frieda: brown hair
Abigail Dressler: early 20s, black, brown eyes, scar on cheek
Haatim Arison: sister dead
George Wertman: overweight
Not much description of anybody but Abigail. Abigail comes off as a bit cynical, tough but her constant attitude of not answering questions became a bit irritating. Haatim plays a good counter to Abigail in that he’s a complete wuss. I can understand naivete, it was a little difficult to accept he doesn’t know which end of a gun to point at somebody. He changes near the end, but still is a weak character. Not enough of Frieda ‘s involvement in the book to care about.
For the most part, okay. Characters have distinctive voices, including the demons.
The issues I had in this category were:
Repetitive descriptions of Abigail. Once you have a character established, the reader doesn’t need to be reminded that she’s black with brown eyes.
As mentioned above, I had a problem with the plot. Also as mentioned the bad stuff doesn’t take place in the town of Raven’s Peak, but in a campground...an hour away? Really? An hour?
Another aspect of the story I couldn’t accept: Out in the woods near this campground is the original location for the town of Raven’s Peak, with structures still standing. After years and years, nobody has come across this site? No hikers? Lumber companies? Surveyors? It isn’t discovered until a twelve year old boy wanders away and gets lost and he finds it?
Another weird thing: When Abigail and Haatim go to the site Abigail finds a guy-the lone survivor of a group of campers-doing something strange in the church. Then she walks away to call Frieda for assistance? Really? She doesn’t inquire as to what the guy is doing? Doesn’t recognize the supernatural woo-woo going on? Doesn’t recognize that the guy might have problem? She’s going to go away and call to see what needs to be done?
My main issue was that this was a shorter book than most and I expected to get to the main plot as told by Amazon sooner than we did. It took a long time to rescue Haatim from his first supernatural encounter then another long section of recovery and escaping Arizona. Then, when I thought they were off to RP in Tennessee, they divert to Colorado to torture a demon for information. Then off to another scene to make another connection to Abigail’s mentor. Finally, they reach RP, or rather the campground.
I don’t mind subplots, but the incident at RP turned out to be the subplot and if it hadn’t for the incident with these campers, I don’t think Abigail and Haatim would have found anything. They certainly didn’t obtain any concrete information in town about previous incidents of ‘something weird going on.’
There was repetitive phraseology in the action sequences:
Example (not in the book but only an example): He shot, causing the other man to fall back.
The repetition was an action following by an ‘ing’ word the action resulted in. This type of writing was over used.
Clean book otherwise, with no grammar/punctuation/spelling issues but I am going to have to drop it from the original intent of Camo to: